I'm saying something I've never said before..

At some point in my life, I really thought I was on top of the world. Sadly, I've been very mistaken through out the years I thought I was happy. I was being played the entire time. All the friends I thought I had made from sixth grade on, most fake. All the times I thought I was happy in mostly her arms, were all dreams, when in reality; it was hell. I realized at 3:45am on Saturday, January 9, 2010 - I'm officially depressed, and there is not a damn thing I can do about it. I am alone, other than my few friends online. I feel dismantled here, closed in, worthless beyond belief. Who knew you could feel these types of feelings in what you think would be the safety of your own home. Well, that, my dear, is where they begin. In the places you least expect it. The only release from the stress and unbearable sadness is sleep, and internet. Which is why I sit here all night, and sleep the only 12 daylight hours of the days. It's impossible to bypass this when you have no one around you who understands. No one to hug you and tell you it will be alright. No one to smoke a cigarette with you when your anxiety is acting up at all hours of the night. My only friend who understands, lives days away, nine states away to be exact, and it's not always easy.


She was attracted to such deviance;
So captivating staring in her eyes.
It gave her a chance to reveal the truth unless herself decide to deny.
You endorsed a signature of love and lies;
Impulsiveness that destroyed friendship ties.

Those eyes that penetrate us make demand to believe,
That every word she tells, is no matter what, is what it seems.

Her aura is bold and is centered our attention.
And entered a world of divine intervention.
We said some things that regret did us in.
Becoming of this spotlight interrogation,
Are answers still being questioned and no further information.

She takes her breathing air away so silent and deep.
& hope her soul is in heaven's reach.